Frugal Beautiful

Archive for the ‘Love/Single Life’ Category

Good, Bad, Ugly / LogotypeYou know you’re ready to get over someone-but something’s blocking you.  Either you’re too angry to let it go, or your mind brings you back to “the good times” and you use the long-gone happy memories to keep you in the relationship.  Either way, you’re still not letting go.

To move on, take everything into account- the good, the bad, the ugly and use it as motivation to learn from  your relationship and move on.


Get a piece of paper- whatever size you like.  Take up the whole page and write “The Good,” then “The Bad,” and finally, “THE UGLY.”

In “The Good” category: This is where all of your happy memories and reasons for loving your partner can go.  It can be very vague, or perhaps if a particular memory (like how you met, or an intimate moment) is on your mind- put it down.  Perhaps your partner evokes feelings of comfort that you’re afraid to go without, or perhaps you just love having someone to share the holidays with.  Be honest, what made you love them, what made you stay in the relationship this long?

In “The Bad” category: This is where the little pet peeves go.  Plus anything that has been eating at you, or the less-than-romantic reasons you’ve stayed in a relationship you weren’t feeling solid about.  Perhaps you worried about being “alone,” or you don’t want to deal with the scores of mutual friends you have accumulated and what discord a breakup might create.  You can also relay some of the smaller things that have turned into big things- reasons that the two of you might be better off parting.

In “The Ugly” category: This is where the deal breakers go, the stuff that really hurts, makes you fume or totally changed your perspective on your partnership.  Did they cheat?  Did you discover that you wanted different things in the long term that cannot be worked out?  Here, name the major issues that have come to light that would propel you forward in ending a relationship and help you justify the need to let go and move on.

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Getting over someone is a process-  it’s okay to be conflicted in how you feel after a relationship has ended- no matter who made the decision that it was over.   Confronting those various emotions- the love and the hate, can give you the tools you need to look at the relationship with a new set of eyes and some sense of balance.

No relationship is all good or all bad- but sometimes it’s easy to glorify or demonize what’s happened, but that might not help us move on.  Having it on paper and being able to analyze your experience without polarizing it could be the next step in healing.

(Oh by the way, I’ve made my own list before- the one above is just an example!)

French Martini PairI am *so* sick of all the Vday haters out there- there is no reason to get angsty even if you’re single! If you’re whining about how sucky it is to be single this Valentine’s Day, you’re not doing it right! Here are my ideas to be fabulous flying solo!

-Why aren’t you at the spa??? It’s February 7th. I got a massage TODAY.  That’s how serious I am about reclaiming this holiday. So you know, the massage was phenomenal and it was $20 off. Check out Yelp for some great deals! Also, getting a sexy new ‘do, a tan (that’s safe), hot stone therapy or other spa regimen is totally acceptable-best part is ladies?  You pay and leave- no obligatory “returning the favor!”

-There ain’t nothin’ wrong with treating yourself! While some women take sending yourself flowers to a really sad, scary, and let’s face it- pathetic place (since “no one else would do it”)-YIKES.   There is nothing wrong with getting yourself flowers, chocolates, a stuffed animal of a Cupid-impaling-a-teddy bear-with-an-arrow…whatever floats your boat. I got carnations for the apartment and some O.P.I. nailpolish in delish colors. New video games, a sexy new sweater, a delectable lip color- make yourself proud!

-Plan something fun with other (non-mopey) people. While going to a restaurant on Vday can be a disaster, you and your single friends can plan something alternatively fun, and let the other love-doped lemmings cliff dive into unreasonably high expectations, even higher prices, crowded restaurants and sappy accordion music.  Good booze, good friends and of course, maybe some smack-talk about the aforementioned lemmings in your life will make for a good time!

-Throw A Party! Last year, I put together a party at the last minute.  Everyone showed up with some tasty h’ordurves, and we did a gift exchange so we could get our kicks buying chocolates and crappy rose petal bath salts.  I supplied the  chocolate martinis and  ended up with Godiva chocolates and Philosophy Raspberry Souflee bodywash in the gift exchange…good deal.  Or, if you have suffered a recent breakup- light up the fireplace and go ahead and toast your buddies as you burn anything remotely reminiscent of the jerkface and let Vday be the start of something new!

-Buy this heart box of adorable plush venereal diseases. Because you sure aren’t catching the real thing from someone else!  High fives to you!

The point is, it doesn’t matter what you do- as long as you aren’t whining about being single.   Being single is totally awesome- and if you don’t think it is, get your tush online and sign up for E-harmony or Chemistry.com (use a coupon at CouponCactus with my Usercode of course)-no harm, no foul.   I admit I’m guilty of hinging my self-worth on the affection of others- but admit it, Valentine’s Day is not really the best measure of how awesome you are.  It’s typically just a way for couples to get all superficial and put a price tag on a token of love (which was probably manufactured in China and ridiculously overpriced).

Let this February 14th will be a great day to foster the love you have, and to bring new love into your life- one martini at a time!


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